11/08/22

mushroom jokes | 82 Mushroom jokes | fungi mushroom jokes

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mushroom jokes  : Whether you love them or hate them, you can’t deny it and when it comes to telling jokes, Mushroom Jokes never fail to impress! Have you ever been to a dinner party and wanted to ‘woo’ the crowd, but didn’t know how? Well, why not try a good mushroom brew next time? We guarantee it won’t take long for everyone to realize how funny you are with these mushroom jokes!

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So pull up a (Toad) stool and get ready to read these 50+ Mushroom Jokes That Will Leave You Craving for Spores

The Fung-iest Mushroom Jokes

82 mushroom jokes

1. I went hunting for mushrooms the other day…

Don’t worry, there’s a morel to this story.

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2. What do you call a very large mushroom?

A humongous fungus!

 

3. My first two wives died from eating poisonous mushrooms, the third one died from a blow to the head.

She didn’t want to eat the mushrooms.
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4. What do prize winning competitive mushroom pickers eat in the morning?

Breakfast of Champignons

 

5. A mushroom walks into a bar.

Bartender says to it “We don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom says “But, why? I’m a fungi!”

 

6. What do you call a mushroom that has nothing nice to say?

A shi’talkin mushroom

 

7. A farmer wanted to start growing mushrooms

But he didn’t have any spores or enough space to grow them, so unfortunately he wasn’t able to. He just didn’t have mushroom.

 

8. I once knew one mushroom man

He was a fun guy

 

9. Did you hear about that dude who started the mushroom diet? I hear hes a real fungi

this has probably been done but there is so mushroom here

 

10. A mushroom walks into a bar, puts down a $5 bill, says “Gimme a drink!”

Bartender says “Get outta here, we don’t serve your kind!”
Mushroom says “Why not? I’m a fun guy!”

 

11. What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?

A spores car!

 

12. I tried to befriend a mushroom today.

I heard that he’s a fungi.

 

13. I watched a documentary on mushrooms tonight.

I’ll probably watch them all like that from now on.

 

14. Why shouldn’t you eat mushrooms as an appetiser?

Because it leaves not-mushroom for the rest of your food.

 

15. What is a French Mushroom’s favourite rock song?

We Are The Champignons

 

16. Why did the mushroom want to goto a party?

Because he was sure he was a fungi

 

17. What did the mushroom with an Oedipus Complex say to it’s mother?

“Ooooh Mommy!”

 

18. A man heard his friend had lost two wives in two years. He felt bad so he called to give his condolences. He asked “how’d your first wife die?” “She ate poison mushrooms.” “What about you second wife?” “She died of blunt trauma to the head.” “Why would that have happened?”

“She wouldn’t eat her mushrooms.”

 

19. I know a funny dude who identifies as two beautiful mushrooms

He’s a pretty fungi

 

20. What do you call a lady who enjoys mushrooms?

A fungal.

 

21. “You know, I think it’s your turn to pick wild mushrooms.” My girlfriend said.

So I gather.

 

22. Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

He was a fungi.

Why wsn’t the toadstool invited?

He was toxic.

 

23. Why does the mushroom always get invited to parties?

Because he’s a fungi!

 

 

24. Two mushrooms were talking politics.

One mushroom said “I think that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

The other said “Thats a shiitake.”

 

 

25. I made a bad NFT pun.

Why can’t you buy mushrooms with NFTs?
???
Because it’s a Non **fungi**ble token .

 

26. A joke I remember making up when I was 7 : What do you get when a giant steps on a house?

Mushrooms

 

27. Personally I think you should start the day off with a meal of French mushrooms

…Breakfast of champignons

 

28. Why’s it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner?

Because you won’t have mushroom left for dessert.

 

29. A mushroom forager sank to new lows for his hunt.

He stole a car for transportation and trespassed on private property to hunt on. Nevertheless his hunt was unsuccessful. He had no morels.

 

30. A great tragedy befalls the USSR

At a Central Committee meeting dozens of high ranking officials were accidentally killed, poisoned with toxic mushrooms in their soup.
The investigation team arrives at the scene. It was horrific, some had scratched their throats deeply, other lay with foam at they mouth or bloodshot eyes.
But the investigation teams discovers something interesting, three of the dead had gun shot wound to their heads.
“What happened here, we thought this was a poisoning?”
“It was, but these three refused to eat their soup.”

 

31. Two men talking…….

Man 1: You know, I’ve been married twice and both my wife’s died. The first one died from eating poisonous mushrooms. The second one died from blunt force trauma to the skull.

Man 2: Jesus, and how did that happen?

Man 1: She wouldn’t eat her mushrooms

 

32. Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms…

Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong Morel fibre.

 

33. Did you hear about the mushroom who parked illegally?

He was Toad.

 

34. Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.

I said ‘You’re brilliant, what’s the band called?’
They replied ‘We are the Champignons, my friend’

 

35. Took my final exam on magic mushrooms

I passed with flying colors

 

36. A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says “I’d like to submit a joke of my people”

The receptionist looks at him and says “listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I’m not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.”

Mushroom: “so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says ‘tell me about yourself’ and he says ‘well I’m a fungi!’

Receptionist: yeah that jokes bad but it’s just not gonna cut it, we can’t put it in,
We don’t have mushroom.

 

37. Where did you get this mushroom recipe?

Husband asks his wife.

\- “In a detective novel.” she answers.

 

38. My friend had mushrooms during the party

Now he’s a fun guy

 

39. The Appetizer

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Here’s your beer and a complimentary plate of roasted mushrooms that I picked out in the woods behind the bar just this morning,” the bartender says. “Wait, are these mushrooms even edible?” the guy asks. “Oh, come on. ALL mushrooms are edible,” the bartender scoffs. “Some are just edible once.”

 

40. Did the woman go on a date with the mushroom?

Of course.. After all, he is a Fungi

 

41. People always ask me why am I friends with a mushroom

I mean he’s usually a fungi

 

42. A mushroom walks into a bar…

He walks up to the barman and says

“Can I have a beer?”

The barman peers down at the little mushroom and says

“I can’t serve you – your a mushroom!”

The mushroom with consternation replies

“Oh come on! I’m a fun guy!” (Fungi)

 

43. Make sure to always be careful when eating mushrooms

If you eat the wrong one you could be in truffle

 

44. I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms

But now it seems i’ve lost my Morel Compass

 

45. A husband and wife were out in the forest mushroom picking

The husband thought he found a mushroom and picked it up. To his disappointment it was an ordinary rock. Enraged, he threw it. After he threw it, he heard something glass breaking.

The pair rushed over to see what it is, and found a shack in the forest. A man in very bright clothing came out.

“Oh God I’m very sorry that I broke your window, I’ll pay for everything.” Said the husband.

“There’s no need. ” Said the man.

“For you see I’m a genie, and what you broke was a vase that was trapping me. For my thank you, I’ll grant you 2 wishes for freeing me from my cage.” Said the genie

“Only 2 wishes? Traditionally genies grant 3 wishes.” The husband said surprised.

“Don’t push it.” Said the genie.

Later, the husband and wife discussed what wishes they should get.

“We’ve made up our mind.” Said the husband.

“We want $1,000,000 and a house in every city in the world.” The wife said.

“Granted” the genie said.

“Now, I think you own me a favour for granting you that wish.” Explained the genie.

“What favour?” Asked the husband.

“I should make love to your wife for granting you those wishes.” Said the genie happily.

The wife and husband debated whether they should agree. They eventually did.

The husband was sitting outside, listening to his wife’s and the genie’s love making.

When they’ve finished, the genie asked the wife a question.

“May I ask you a question?” The genie asked.

“Sure.” The wife replied.

“How old are you?” Asked the genie

“We’re both 40” said the wife.

“YOU’RE BOTH 40 AND STILL BELIVE IN FAIRY TALES?”
Said the man shocked.

 

46. Why did the girl mushroom go out with the boy mushroom?

She heard he was a Funguy

 

47. I’m dressing up as a mushroom for Halloween

Why?

Because I’m a fungi

 

48. “I hear you just got married again.”

Jim: “Joe, I hear you just got married again.”

Joe: “Yes, for the fourth time.”

Jim: “What happened to your first three wives?”

Joe: “They all died, Jim.”

Jim: “How did that happen?”

Joe: “My first wife ate poison mushrooms.”

Jim: “How terrible! And your second?”

Joe: “She ate poison mushrooms.”

Jim: “And your third ate poison mushrooms too?”

Joe: “Oh, no. She died of blunt head trauma.”

Jim: “I see, an accident.”

Joe: “Not exactly. She wouldn’t eat her mushrooms.”

 

49. A mushroom walks up to a bar but the bouncer stops him and points at a sign that says “NO MUSHROOMS”.

The mushroom says “Hey what’s the big deal, I’m a fungii!”

 

50. I would make a fungi fun-guy joke…

…but those are overused. Too bad there isn’t mushroom for other fungus jokes.

 

51. Fourteen mushrooms were sitting at a lunch table.

One more asked to join. One of them said, “Sorry there is not mushroom”

 

52. How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

 

53. What did the mushroom say when he needed a little more time?

Amanita minute.

 

54. Mushrooms are the most virtuous of fungi…

they have the best morels.

 

55. I was illegally hunting for mushrooms.

I have questionable morels.

 

56. What’s it called when a mushroom reaches its climax?

Sporegasm

57. Once I went to a party dressed as a mushroom

I really am a fun-guy

 

58. Why is it not worth it to hunt for mushrooms?

It’s too much truffle.

 

59. All mushrooms are edible

But some mushrooms are only edible once

 

60. Why won’t a truffle and a portobello mushroom take strawberry to the bar?

Why won’t a truffle and a portobello mushroom take strawberry to the bar?

.

..

….

Because strawberry is not fun guy!

 

61. A man was deathly allergic to mushrooms. After a huge fight, his wife cooked a mushroom into his dinner. He ate it and died.

The morel of the story.. killed him.

 

62. Why did the introverted mushroom decide to go to more parties?

Because everyone told him he was a fungi

 

63. A mushroom walks into a bar and sidles up to a stool.

Bartender: “You’ll need to leave. We don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom: “Why not? I’m a . . . fun-gi.”

 

64. So, I’m a mushroom and I decided to ask a plant out.

She says she doesn’t date fungi.

I guess I should be more hedgy.

 

 

65. Chicken pie in the Bahamas…

A chicken pie in the Bahamas costs $7, while a shepherd’s pie, in Jamaica, costs $8. But a mushroom pie in Bermuda only costs $3.

That’s right.

Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

 

66. Why did people invite the mushroom to the party?

Because he’s really, really cute!

 

67. I met this dude once who was really into mushrooms.

He was a real fun guy.

 

68. What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch stalk?

A fungi to go out with

 

69. i’ve been married two times. my first wife died to poisonous mushrooms. the other sufred severe skull fracture.

\-what happened to her?

\-she didn’t want to eat the mushrooms

 

70. I went to a Fancy Dress Party dressed as a mushroom.

Everyone said that I was a Fun Guy…

 

71. Why did the girl invite the mushroom to the school dance?

Because he was a Fun-gi

 

72. My uncle always hated eating mushrooms…

…but now that he’s dead, they’re beginning to grow on him.

 

73. A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting

The police officer, interested, asks. “What is it?”

The addict responds. “Okay, I-”

The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they’re not on drugs “You’re sober right now, right?”

“Yes, this happened when I was sober too.”

All seems okay to this point. “Okay, go on.
“I saw an Italian plumber bump his head on a brick and grow three times his size!”

The officer pauses for a moment and mumbles to himself. “It’s the mushrooms.”

 

74. What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom?

Hey you look like a fun guy,

 

75. Did you hear about the girl who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time?

She became a little spore addict.

 

76. Hear about the mushroom who had to make a tough choice?

It was a big morrel dilemma.

 

79. When Trump communicates with the American people, he follows the primary rule of mushroom farming . . .

# “Keep ’em in the dark and feed ’em horsesh*t”.

 

80. Why can’t you ever get a word in while talking to a female mushroom?

Because, shiitake

 

81. What do you call a Mexican mushroom?

un Puertobello

 

82. Why did the thief Rob a mushroom store?

Because he had no morels.

Some Mushroom Puns

I have so mushroom in my heart for you.

I’m a really fungi.

I have high morel standards.

Shiitake happens.

Get well shroom.

mush-tache.

Have fun guis

#mushroom jokes

Thanks for reading, we hope you’d liked these mushroom jokes as mush as we enjoyed making them! And as for feedback, well, we can’t really see there being mushroom jokes for improvement!

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